Halong Bay Swag

Getting Old,..just ain't pretty sometimes

Graham was very excited about the kayaking excursion, I was looking forward to the adventure, as well. So, at the appointed time we joined the others in the ancillary boat, donned our life jackets and carefully climbed into the tandem plastic shell of a kayak. They handed us two paddles and away we went. We were one of the last boats to load; therefore, we were many strokes behind. And let's just say the synchrony of Team Gaines had something to be desired. But the views around the bay were simply breathtaking. 

As we ended our kayaking excursion, my arms ached, really ached. We had been paddling into a head wind and I was whipped. As we approached the ancillary side boat, I realized I had not given much thought (ok,..any thought) to how I was going to get my 53 year old self out of this boat while it was sitting in the water, several feet below the boarding boat. (Remember the photo of the boat.) You need to understand this was a group adventure. Everyone has either unloaded or waiting their turn and the Vietnamese crew (minus the captain) were positioned on the boat watching.

My first thought -- How am I going to stand up in this boat? I have on a life preserver (cruise requirements) and I am seated in the hull of a plastic thing floating on the water. Because of the confines of my seat, the life jacket is sitting up close to my chin. I must now fold my legs and come up from a sitting position with nothing to hold on to and without flipping the boat. I look up to see who is going to hoist me out of this watercraft.

6 - 8 feet above me in the ancillary boat is this baby faced Vietnamese crew member (who evidently has seniority over the others). He is looking down at me, smiling. He says "Madame, stand up please". I smile, but inside I'm thinking "Buddy, you need to get this girl a crane." So with much effort and a minimal amount of grunting and groaning, I stand my body upright.

As I'm standing there trying to catch my breath, thanking the good Lord for showing up again, I begin to survey the next hurdle...How am going to get my body up and inside that boat? There is no ladder, no foot or hand holds, nothing but a ledge that is positioned above the height of my waist and the boat column which is above head...Good grief. As I survey the dire state of affairs, Baby face #1 says "Madame, time to move from boat". 

So I grab for the column and hoist my knee to the ledge. But that's as far as I got because my life jacket is wedged under the lip of the boat's ledge and my arms are weak from paddling. My arms are wrapped around the column, my knee is on the ledge, but gravity is kicking in and I can not move. My left shin is taking the weight and the pain is awful. I'm stuck. I try lifting myself but nothing happens. Evidently I must have been making guttural sounds because the animated conversation amongst the Vietnamese crew abruptly stopped. Then I said, "I need some help!" Nothing. Nobody moves, no one says a word. I am losing grip on the column,...this is fixing to get ugly. 

So I take a risk. Without looking behind me I pull my leg off the ledge and put my foot down not knowing if I'm going find the floor of the plastic shell of a boat, the top of someone's head or the water. Thankfully, I land in the boat. I turn to look at Graham. I'm not sure if his facial expression is one of fear or embarrassment. He looked bewildered for sure!

At this point I am frustrated and in pain, I need to get in that boat NOW. My strong will takes over. I remove the life jacket and sling it over the boat muttering something about 'not drowning' under my breath. With all the strength I could muster, I climbed my 53 year old body up and over that rail. As I cleared the rail and landed in the boat, I looked at #1 and said "I am too old for this!" I know he didn't comprehend. He just smiled, nodded and said "yes, Madame".

After a hot shower, two Tylenol and a short nap dinner was served at 7:30. And what a delicious dinner it was.

Evidently word had gotten back to Phuc about my escapade. She approached me after dinner, "How was kayak? Are you tired, Madame? Your arms hurting after so much work? I give you a massage, eh?" Ahhhh, yes. Thank you.

We ended our first day with a little squid fishing off the ancillary boat. 

The Catch